A hard life worth living
by Samurigirllrf
Summary: Edward and Al can't seem to stay out of danger. When a simple trip to the military base goes wrong edward is badly injured and then sent back to the Rockbelles house to finish recovering.But can he stay out of danger enough for Winry to show him how she
1. Prolouge

Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Fullmetal Alchemist. All I own is the story I made up.  
warning: Violence  
Notes: This story Ed/Win. paring . The prologue is basically just for people who are new to Fullmetal Alchemist. You do not have to read the prologue if you already know the story line of the show.  
The first chp. will be uploaded august, 6, 2005(tomorrow)

Prologue: Fullmetal Alchemist-My Life

"As I travel through this world I realize how utterly miserable my life has become. My father eh...well I never really knew him, and as for my mother...she was everything...she meant so much to us, but she died. In my own act of selfishness I attempted to bring her back with Alchemy. How stupid could I have been... The consequence of my own irrational actions obliterated my brothers body in a disintegrating explosion caused by misconception alchemy. It left Al's mind in a metal suit of Armor.

I am sorry for what I have done to Al, yet that doesn't change things. As for me, I had to pay my own dept for my drastic actions. My right arm, and left leg are no longer flesh and blood. They are a mass of wires, and lifeless cords simulated to act as if they lived.

I blame no one but my self for what I have gone through. Al thinks I'm the best brother he could have, but that's not true. I know deep down inside he must hate me. He has to... To know I'm the only person he has left sickens me to the core. If I could, I would change everything...


	2. Chp1 unpleasent Surprise

Note: This is my first fanfic I've ever posted. Please no harsh flames.  
warning: Violence  
Notes: This story is Ed/Win. paring .

(Hotel room)

"Brother, Brother... wake up..." " Not... now... Al 1 more hour...(snore,snore)" Edwards hair was in shambles as it sprawled across the pillows. It was weird to see him without his pony tail. He laid mouth agape, drool running down his chin in a state of pleasurable rest. " Brother if you don't get up the train will leave without us!" "TRAIN! geeze Al how could I forget!" Edward jolted out of his bed, clad in only undergarments. "Arg.. I have to hurry Al" He frantically tossed clothes in all directions until he found his prized possession, his nearly skin tight black pants.

Half way ready, he tossed the bed spread over rummaging through sheets for his shirt. After 5 min. of ransacking the place he found it. With that he grabbed his trench coat and was out the door with his brother clanking behind him. They barley made it in time. Edward was huffing and gasping for air after his dash to the station. As they got on the train Ed realized he forgot to tie up his hair. "Now how am I suppose to see like this!". His bright yellow bangs lazily flowing in the wind tickling the bridge of his nose. As they treaded through the packed ale of the train, a jolt of electricity surged through Ed's brain.

(_whispering_)- "_Al... keep your eyes peeled . Something is unsettling about the couple on the far side of the train_". Edward glanced over once more at the two sitting on his left side as he walked passed. The male, a husky set individual with small beady eyes and a mouth that looked as if he could swallow something twice the size of his own body. Sitting next to him was a strikingly familiar woman. Set upon her face was a sinister smirk accompanied by green flowing hair. Her dress that she was wearing left nearly nothing to the imagination. There presence sent shivers up Ed's spine. When they walked passed them the air became noticeable colder. "

Now brother, you can't go getting all jumpy over two people with out having any evidence to back your self up ". " No Al, something is not right, you have seen as much as I have, and you should know not to underestimate everyone". " But Ni-san how can you tell?" "I just can Al, I just know it." Sensing the thick tension in the air, Al tried to change the subject. "umm, Hey Ni-san were would you like to put your things? the faster we put our stuff away the faster we can get some rest." " By the window will be fine Al." As the sun began to set over the distant hills the brothers began to wined down. "ahh...Yawn." "I'm going to turn in for the night Al.

We have a busy day a hid of us. Edward was suppose to meet the lieutenant Hughes for a special mission, but because he slept in he was running a bit off schedule. As Al nestled himself into a corner, Edward cuddled into his blankets. How he loved the warmth ones body heat gave off under the sheets. So many nights spent sleeping in the cold on military missions made this a night of enjoyment. Ed hated to admit to people that he was the dog of the Military. People never seemed to have a good reaction towards him , and he couldn't blame him. What ever they told him he had to do it, and because he was a great state Alchemist they sent him on some of the most dangerous missions.

The trains steady bouncing slowly rocked the brothers to sleep. They slept peacefully for only about 3 hours before the train suddenly came to a death hurdling halt. The wheels screeching against the tracks woke up everyone on the train. Metallic sparks fluttered through the wind. Blood laden air was breathed in quite reluctantly by Edward. " Al! what's happening!" " I don't know brother...maybe..maybe its them. Maybe its the two we saw earlier. What if you were right about them!" " For our sakes, I hope not. Maybe its just an animal on the tracks...maybe. Edward knew that most likely it was something bad going to happen. Danger seemed to be his best friend.

As Ed turned his head towards the front of the train, the driver was seen being impaled in the chest by what seemed to be extended knives or some kind of 5 bladed sword. The knives extended to the back of the train imbedding the driver to the wall. A figure walked out from the shadows, and from what Edward could see he had been deceived. "uhhh...those are not knives...there..there fingers!" "They belonged to that lady we saw earlier. "But Ni-San, how can that be?" (thinking)- (oh my gosh could she be... impossible I thought they never existed, how!") " What is it brother?" "Al do you remember the books we read, and how they always said that beings the were not alive and not human were created from forbidden alchemy techniques?" " yeah, why?" " Well, think Al, Those things that have extended from that thing is most definitely not a human characteristic. Its in human." "ugh!... you think...she is a homunculus! the very reincarnation the sins committed by alchemist who used forbidden alchemy!" "No Al, I don't think I know. I never thought they were real. I always believed they were legends., and that thing that came out when I tried to bring mom back... I thought it was just something that I made myself but it just came out terribly wrong." Edward began to shout out to the being. " I know who and what you are! you are a homunculus!" " awww look the little metal freak got it right,why don't I give him an award gluttony?""How dose the beating of a lifetime sound!"

Lust began to laugh, a soul cringing low evil laugh. "LITTLE WHO ARE YOU CALLING LITTLE YOU FREAK!" " Hey! stop this why are you attacking us! we have done non thing to you we don't even know who you are!" ' Al, don't you see there monsters they don't need a reason. They do it because they want to." " No brother they must have some sort of reason." "Oh sorry for being so rude, allow me to introduce my self. I am Lust and this big fellow here is gluttony, he's not big on words. As for why were here attacking you, well you should know darn well why!" Lust lunged out at Edward with claws covered in the gore from the driver she impaled. Ed dogged it and jumped over 3 seats making lust slash them instead of himself. "Do you wanna see what Gluttony will do to you if you don't sit still!" Gluttony wobbled over and grabbed the dieing driver in his oversized hands.

As they watched in aw he opened his mouth showing his many rows of razor sharp teeth. (There must be at least 100 of them in there!") Just then every ones mouth dropped in astonishments as he dropped the driver into his mouth, crushing his bones in his teeth as he mashed him to shreds. When the passengers saw they instantly ran off the train. Edward stood with a look of horror. His bright yellow orbs widened with great fright. His pupils barely noticeable. Now he was scared although he would never admit it. Edward shivered clutching his trench coat till his knuckles turned purple, and his palms writhed in pain.

" Brother... this is unreal!" ' Now Edward Elric show me why your called Fullmetal The State Alchemist!" She lunged at him again this time catching him off guard as he trembled in a temporary state of shock. "Ni-san!" Ed bounced back, and extended his knife blade from his automail. As Edward lashed out, Al was fighting his own battle with the greedy beast. Blade on claws collided clinging together wildly. Each clash was a deafening blow." Ed jumped and dogged viscous attacks, but he couldn't keep this up for long. On impact the two came to an glaring stance. Blade against claw. Edward was begging to shake under the force. He was Trying with all his might to push the claws away. (How am I going to get out of this one! She is very strong). There they both stood face to face each trying to get leverage on one another.

Samurigirllrf: Here the first Chp! please review. the more reviews the more chapters get put up faster. ;)hoped u like it.


	3. Chapter 2 SAVIOR

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Fullmetal Alchemist. All I own is the story I made up.  
warning: Violence **

**note: Hello everyone. The second chp. took a little while but here you go. hope you like it **

**( ...)-anything in these is thought  
"vdlgohroew0wjjd"-any thing slanted like this is whispering  
**  
chp.2: Savior

There they both stood face to face, each trying to get leverage on one another. Just as Edward began to get the upper hand Lust spun and jabbed him in his right arm. The pain ruthlessly surged through Ed's highly sensitive nerves causing him to grab his arm in agony. He tried clinching his fist together, but he soon found out that it was no longer able to move. (arg!Just great it's all ..over now!) Lust lifted up her leg and kicked him in the side. "ahhh!" Edward rolled up into a ball trying to soothe the pain. "Who's all mighty now!" Lust reached down and heaved Ed into the air getting a good look at him. His hair drooped down over his face dampened with sweat. "Now..now Edward, you really shouldn't cover up such a beautiful face" With that she brushed away the hair and looked into his eyes, but Ed let his head hang down.

He wanted no part in this sins little games. Lust placed one finger and lifted his chin making him look at her face to face. "Why Edward don't look so down, you should be honored to receive such a gift." Lust leaned closer to Ed's face and kissed him. It started out gently , but then became rougher. Edward struggled to get away from her as his eyes sprung open widely in horrific shock. When Lust realized her prize was trying to get away she clinched onto his injured automail and extended her claws into the freshly severed nerve endings. Edward tried to scream, but it was muffled be her kiss. All he could do was clutch his arm and deal with the great pain the traveled through it. As quickly as the whole event started it ended when Lust tossed him across the floor.

She walked closer to him. Edward looked up at her and attempted to get up so as to doge what ever attack she was planning to do, but he was in to much pain. Lust smiled satisfied in the fact that she had him right where she wanted him. "You will pay for what ever you have done to my brother! I know what you did Fullmetal, you figured out what my brother was up too and you tortured him didn't you! where are you hiding him?." Edward looked up at her quizzically. "I...haven't done anything to your brother!... I don't even know who he is!" "Not the right answer!" She then delivered a powerful blow into his stomach. "ack!" Ed cried out as blood flowed forcibly from his lungs to the ground.

Just then Al was heard screaming in the distance. Gluttony's mouth closed over Al's arm, and was snapped off then devoured. Al's scream was not from pain, but from the pour shock. "Allll!" ( arg... this pain won't stop me! Al needs me and I'm not going to let him down again!) "I don't know what your talking about or what you want from us, but your going to have to kill me first before I talk to low lives like you two !" "That's fine with me, lets find out what part of your body shall I start out eating first!" Gluttony jumped into the air and twirled with high speed. Considering what a brute the creature was, the seen seemed to be hard to imagine. Gluttony came down like a million tons, but he missed his initial target and crashed through the floor. He was now lodged into the floor boards.

Gluttony looked around to see just how he missed his target. There in front of him was Al who had slid under him and pushed his brother to the side. Al took his chance and Elbowed him in the Head then he started to draw a transmutation circle to create a holding chamber for the creature. Meanwhile Ed was trying to hold on to what little life he had left. " You haven't one yet Lust...you won't..win...we..wont...(cough) allow you monsters to beat us." "Shut up! No one gave you permission to talk!" Lust picked up Edward and sent him serenading through the passenger car into the cargo with one mighty throw. Al immediately stopped drawing the circle and ran to his brothers side. Just then Gluttony busted out of the floor sending slabs of wood cascading into Lust. 'Ahh! you idiot! what is wrong with you!. Don't hit me! hit them!" "ah..sorry" "Your so stupid! What do you mean sorry! If you weren't such a clumsy buffoon you wouldn't have this problem!" As lust and Gluttony continued to bicker, Edward began to regain consciousness from the blow Lust had given him.

"ahh. ow... that hurt..." "_ Hey Al we have to get out of here_." "_But brother what am I going to do about my arm_?" "_ Oh, that's right Gluttony swallowed it. I can't reconstruct it with out metal pieces. Not to mention another arm_." "_oh,...yeah right_" "_watch out Al, im going to try and get us out of here_" Edward lowered his flesh arm down to his broken metal one and clapped it against it creating an alchemic explosion towards the homunculus. Dust and debrie flooded the air making it impossible to see anything. "_Brother did you get them_?" "_I don't know yet Al_." When the smoke cleared away it was safe to say that only one of the two were standing. Gluttony's large body laid flat in the massive whole of what used to be the floor. He was knocked unconscious. It seemed that Lust had dogged the blast some how. Edward smirked, he was at least glad that he had one down. Suddenly he felt a sharp stab of pain.

He looked down to find that his side was covered in blood. That last attack he put out really took a lot out of him. He was struggling just to keep his eyes open as he gasped for air. His vision was becoming blurry as he drifted in and out of consciousness. Something had fractured in his left side, and it was the source of his great pain and heavy breathing. He managed to sit up a bit to see what was happening around him, or what little he could decipher was there. His tank top was in shambles, and he looked like a ten ton of bricks had hit him head on. (Its times like this I wish I were not a State Alchemist! To put my brother and me through so much agony is not right, but then again everything I seem to do isn't quiet right..) Edward's mind was laden with guilt. He knew that if he ever got out of this mess, he would just end up getting into one much bigger. Just then a figure crashed through the roof of the train landing full force on Gluttony's stomach. Gluttony let out a loud screech as the shock brought him back to reality.

Gluttony gradually stood up holding onto his stomach as it bulged and protruded out in all directions. He bent over holding onto large waste. Everyone was watching in disgust. His mouth stretched open wide and out splurged everything eaten recently. His face was flushed and drawn back. To the horror of everyone bits and pieces of what used to be the train driver,metal peace's from Als arm , and other parts of human anatomy splashed across the floor. Edward was becoming nauseous, and his face faded to a pale green. The air was full of nauseous gasses. Each breath in felt like there last. The dark figure that smashed into Gluttony stepped into the light. "SCAR!" " You guest right Fullmetal. I'm here to save you two" " Why? I thought you wanted to kill me?" "How am I suppose to do that if those creatures do it first?" " Wow that's a first in my book. Being saved to be killed." "_Ni-san shhh... let him get us out of here. I mean your not exactly in good shape to save both of us_." "_ I guess your right Al. Maybe we can find a phone out side to call the military for back up_."

Lust curled her lips and gave a menacing scowl towards the intruder. Scar looked straight at her. If looks could kill she would be laying on the floor right where she stood. Scar was a lean man with trimmed white hair. His forehead held a large white x hence the name Scar. On his right arm he bore inscriptions of which he didn't even know what they meant. All he knew was that it held great power. Scar lifted his right arm into the air and the inscriptions illuminated a bright red. Red fluorescent sparked spiraled around it and a surge of energy was sent blasting into the creatures with such speed there was no way to dodge it. Scar quickly grabbed the brothers and slid through a wall to the outside just as the cargo car exploded on impact.

When they got outside they spectators who were just minutes ago passengers said that the military was on there way. "See brother were saved,some one must have notified them." As soon as Scar heard the military were on there way he left as quickly as he came. "This is not over Fullmetal!" Al clutched his injured brother in his remaining arm . Edwards face was was pale, and blood ran down his lips.His breathing was shallow and his body laid limp. Al listen closely and found out that Ed's heart was barely traceable. "Please stay alive brother. You and Winry are the only ones I have left. I wish mom was still here. She would make things right again. If your demise be met today...well then mines will to." The military arrived in the nick of time before anything else drastic could take place. They placed Edward on a stretcher and took him to there hospital. He would be fine. That is for now...

**note: Ok that's chp2. hope you liked it. I think it was about 4 or 5 more paragraphs then the last chapter. Please R&R thanks. The sooner I get responses the sooner ill put up the next chappe;)  
**


	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Fullmetal Alchemist. All I own is the story I made up-yall all no that lol  
warning: ok this chapter does not have much violence to warn about but still there is a little.  
Notes: This story Ed/Win. paring . I'm sorry for being gone so long , I went on a mini vacation but I'm back hehe. Hope yall don't hate me to much ;) any way most of this chapter is like the calm before the storm, with the exception of the first two paragraphs. I tried to take out some of the unnecessary description. All the extra description was only there because the story was originally meant for my friends to read, and the don't watch FMA so I had to describe a lot of things.  
OK on with the story!

Chp:3-We Meet Again

No! Stop! Why must you torture me like this? Is it not enough that I've spent almost my whole life running and searching! Running...Running... "I must keep running, its the only way. I must save Al... A red haze, what is this! Its filling the sky. The a shadow shrouded around Edward blocking all light. Blocking all hope. Jaws of death were inclosing around him."Can I eat him now?" What! NO! get away! "Hello Fullmetal... remember me?" Lust!" "Did I tell you how cute you are when you are frightened like that?" "Get away from me!" Blood dripping pouring...where is coming from! Why am I covered in blood? Light blinding light! Al where are you! he's gone where is he!" "Brother!" "Brother!save me"..."Don't let me go...don't let me go!" "Al! I'm trying Al I'm trying!" (...farther I have to reach farther.) "Brother..don't let me..." "NOOOO! Al! Al! Alphonse!

"Ni-San! Ni-San! Wake up!" "huh, oh Al your alive" "Where am I?" " your in the hospital." "Oh yeah right, the fight on the train.' The doctor said you have 3 fractured ribs, which punctured you on of your lungs. That's why you were having such a hard time breathing. The only other major is the gash on your left side, but the doctor said everything looks ok. I think you look much better the last night" Al was trying his best o make feel better." Ed chuckled a little "That's not the worst I've been through" Watcha think a Al? Ill live hahaha" Edward put on an half hearted smile." cough..cough..aww remind me not to laugh/" " Ni-San can I ask you something?" "What is it Al?" "Why do you scream in your sleep? Are you in pain? I mean if you are we could get you some help or something."

Edwards eyes widened in shock as the depth of Al's question sunk in. "No Al...I'm fine...just great." Edwards mind was tortured almost every night by nightmares. He had so many he lost count. Each night drained more and more of his soul and spirit away. Each night his mind played with him. Awakening past horrors past fear, and watching him cower with guilt. Edward snapped out of his thoughts and turned to face the window. He looked up at the sky wishing he could me as free as the wind and away from all these troubles, but he knew that was asking too much. (Why can't I forget? Killers, and criminals live each day of there lives like the things they did never happened.

Like the things they did weren't bad, but me each thing I do that's frowned upon stays with me burned into my soul, as if it replays its self each day stock on a loop. It was clear to see Edward couldn't take much more. This mission was pushing him to the edge, collapsing on top of his soul. There was no one to comfort him. No one to look up to for any real help. Just as Edward begin to fight back tears welling up Lieutenant Hugues came in to visit. "Oooooh Ed! I have a special delivery and message for the two of you!" "In this package contains metal for Al's missing arm. Ed, the message is for you. The lieutenant walked closer to Edward, and looked him in the eye, We are sending you back to your home town. Once there you can go to Miss Wenrey's house to repair yo automail. Stay a week or two extra after you recovered you deserve a break." "Thank you sir, but I would rather" " No, no buts its now an order. You shouldn't stress your self out so much its not good for you."

With that Hughes patted ed on the back and saluted Al on the way out. "Good day boys." After a little longer then a week in the hospital recuperating Ed finally had enough strength to travel back to Wenrey's place. The area where is ribs were once fractured was still tender, but his gashes and lungs were healing quickly. "Al, what happened to my shirt?" "Oh sorry brother, it was torn in battle." "huh...figures something like this would happen, but no worries Al, I will just go ask Lieutenant Hawkeye of she can find me a T-shirt Edward was glad to be able to stray away from that dreadful hospital bed. Slowly he placed his feet on the ground and begin to take a few steps as he balanced his self. "Brother do you need any help?" "No thanks Al, I want to do this on my own." .

His pale skin was beginning to get its color back. A nice pink tinge was starting to show over his features. The cool breeze felt good flowing through his hair as he made his way to Hawkeye. " Lieutenant Hawk eye, would you happen to have a shirt that I could where some place in this building, oh and have you seen where my pants are?" " Let me check and see if I can fetch one for you Fullmetal Sir. Wait right here and I'll be back shortly. As Edward waited for her to return he leaned against the wall to rest. He was trying to hide the fact that he still felt frail from his brother and anyone else who worked at the base. He did not want to stay there any longer and he did not want Al to worry about him, he was the older brother and he had to be strong."

Hawkeye soon returned with his pants and a freshly washed white tie shirt. "Thanks." With that Edward limped just slightly to his room. " Brother your back! so did you find something to put on?" "heh...look Al my pants. At least they weren't destroyed."Edward went into the bathroom and got dressed. He carefully put on his pants as to not farther injure his bruises. He winced as his thumb grassed against his gash on his side. The white tie shirt was at least two sizes to big but in his condition it was better to not have something tight pressing against his skin like his tank top. As son as Ed was done he threw on his tattered red trench coat and packed away his torn black jacket and a few other things. Then the both of them were on there way out the door and on to Wenrey's house.

Being on the train brought back memories of the struggle that had caused his injuries in the first place. Ed was sick of it, ever time he returned back to a place he had been before there was nothing good to remember it by. When he was not having a bad dream, then things in the world around him reincarnated in his mind as one. All the beatings to his soul was creating an unstable person in the inside. He knew it was bad to bottle his self up like that, but he couldn't help it. On the outside he may of acted stubborn but in the inside they was a scared little boy who fears of losing everything he holds dear to him." I can't believe that with all that has happened to Al, he still holds his haead up higher then mine." " Hey Al, I promise I'll fix your arm when I get mine repaired." "No worries brother, I know you will." Al looked up at his brother indicating the best he could that he was smiling. Soon the train reached there destination.

"Where home brother!" "You mean what we have left to call home." The town where Edwards house once laid now consisted of inry's house and a few neighbors. The closeist store was a good hike away in a different town all together. They reached the door and Ed hesitated slightly. He missed Wenry so much, but if she saw him like this... her heart would break, then she would get mad. "Brother what's wrong?" "Umm..nothing Al." Edward knocked on the door as to not further any more questions from Al. "Hold on I'm coming!". Wenry ran down the steps and swung open the door expecting it to be a client. (Oh my gosh! Can it be him! Yes it was!) "Edward your back! I've missed you so much! And Al its so good to see you again!". She hugged him tightly. Edward gasped not only from the pain, but also because he was not really used to human contact. He forgot how it was, how it felt.

He never really let anyone touch him willingly. Not since his mother died and his brother was stock without a body.He felt that since his brother could not fill and he did that to him then he himself shouldn't have the privilege either. Wenry sensed him tense up, but she figured may be she caught him off guard. Wenry stepped back and examined the two with her eyes. "What happened to both of you!" "Edward look at you! what have you done to your arm!" "Well...W e got into a little scuffle you see..." " Emm hmm little.. you are an IDIOT!" WHY DO YOU HAVE TO PUT YOUR SELF IN SO MUCH DANGER EACH DAY!" "Isn't bad enough that I worry about when you will come back, and now i have to worry if your even alive!"Wenry's face began to flush red and tears began to well up. " No,please don't cry Wenry..I'm fine..really" Edward slapped on a cheesy smile upon his face to calm her. Wenry knew that he was lying, but she decided to calm down and play along for now. "Well the both of you just come in and rest. Al you can rest in the living room. Edward meet me in my auto mail room." (This is going to be a longggg day...Edward you are in for it!)

note: Ok this is the end of Chapter 3i think it was a little short, but im going somewhere and i wanted to post it b4 i forgot. This was the calm, now as you get into chapter 4 when i post it then that will begin the storm. I know this chppe was a little soft but i had to get into eds feelings for chp. 4 to go smoothly. Hope you liked it. thanks for all the R&R on my other chapters please continue.Im going to try and post chp. 4 before i go back to school on the 6th. hopefully i will.


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